Some times you get so mad

Let's face it when you get to be over forty you do tend to build up a lot of life experience. Some of it good and some of it bad. I was married and divorced from my first wife before I met Joy. I will be honest here I truly did love my first wife and I was devoted to her before the marriage went in to the shitter. Sure we had problems when we were together and to be honest most of the problems centered around money. It seems money problems kill more marriages than infidelity. I think if two people can't come to an agreement on how to handle the family finances the marriage is doomed to failure. My ex-wife has more than her share of personal problems and it was hard to live with those problems while we were married. I will admit to occasional out burst of being an asshole. Those out burst were due mostly in frustration in dealing with her personal problems. Those problems included a eating disorder, managing credit cards and a self image that she could never get over. She blamed me for her short comings and failures in life. In time this really challenged my own self esteem and self worth as a man.

She was a compulsive over eater, I mean she literally could not stop eating once she started. It was nothing for her to eat a family size bag of potato chips in one setting. with certain foods she could eat enough for five to six people in one setting. It should be no surprise this disorder led to extreme weight problems on her part. Some of the worst arguments we had while we were married was over her weight. Yeah I know your thinking I was just your typical guy who did not like the way his fat wife looked. To be honest that was part of it, I was also deeply concerned about her health. Let's face it extreme obesity will lead to serious life threatening health issues as you get older and my worst fear at the time was that she would be in her late forties or early fifties fighting chronic heart disease or out of control diebetise. I was scared shittless while we were married that she would die from those health issues way before her time, like in her late forties or early fifties.

Her lack of self control with credit cards ruined the family finances. Hell ruined is not a strong enough term. When I filed for divorce we were bankrupt. To add insult to injury she refused to go through bankruptcy at the time. My attorney advised me at the time not to declare bankruptcy until she did. It has been ten years since the divorce. Financially it has been a real hard ten years for me. At times they seemed almost impossible to get through and I have had to learn some hard lessons along the way. Things have gotten better, I still have some tough times with money or the lack of it. I have gotten through it with out having to go through bankruptcy.

Here are the circumstances of my divorce, it all started when she started to spend Saturdays shopping with a friend she worked with named Jean. Jean was the first but not the only bad influence on her. Shortly after she started to hang out with Jean My ex, Jean her husband and I went to the Moody Blues Concert in Des Moines, Iowa. Before the concert the four of us went out to dinner. My ex and I figured this would be a fun evening for the four of us. We were wrong, there is nothing more miserable than spending a evening with a couple who flat out hate each other and who spend there time taking out their anger and frustrations on each other. Jean also had a extreme problem with money in that she would spend all of her take home pay each Saturday shopping buying mostly stuff for her kids. Most of the stuff she purchased they didn't need or want. Pretty soon my ex wife was doing exactly the same thing.

The other thing was she started to have an affair with a co worker named Kevin Babcock who work at the State of Iowa Department of Human Services. During the affair the two of them talked about everything with each other. During one of those conversations my ex made the mistake of confiding that she was attracted to women sexually. Kevin convinced her that she was a lesbian and that she would never be happy unless she started to have relationships with women. I'm not shitting you on this, their plan was to get together and have a show marriage while the two of them can go out and act on there homosexual feelings. Kevin had his own agenda in that he was gay and his mother was leaning on him real hard to settle down and have a family. He saw an opportunity for that with my wife in that he thought I would just disappear to where most ex husbands are suppose to go so that he could be the daddy to my kids. Hear is some information on dear old Kevin, at the time he was forty years old up until that time he had never had a relationship with any one that lasted longer than two years and all of those relationships were with women. Up until then he never had a relationship with a man, all of his experiences with men were casual sex encounters that we now refer to as down low experiences. I never fully understood what she saw in him till I found a picture of him 6 months after the divorce after he gained alot of weight. He looked just like her dad.

Ten years after the fact what does this have to do with what is going on today. It is pretty simple I kept my child support current and my youngest graduated from High school last year when my youngest graduated my child support obligation ended and her money problems began. I have found out she is going to file for bankruptcy and she hit my up for some money to help them through. I said no she got pissed and started to go off on me and I ended up calling her a fucking bitch and stupid cunt. Do I feel bad about that.......no I don't. Both of my kids have also imformed me that she has developed serious health problems most of them caused by her weight problem. she has shrunk two inches since we divorced and her height is now 5'3" and her weight is ballooned up to almost 400lb. She can't walk for short distances with out the aid of a cane. She suffers selling of the her feet to the point she can't wear shoes. Her problems are not my problems and if she can't deal with that it is too fucking bad. I will not put up with her shit any more.